cucumber's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lex Y Z (for real this time) Okay, I stole this from Lau and I'm going to fill in as many things as possible until Rezo gets here.. A is for Alexis - my name. I was named after a song called Alexis by the James Gang. Not after Dynasty, you hear?? B is for Brad - my ex boyfriend and still one of my closest friends. He's the coolest, and he got my virginity, lucky boy. Please go download his songs; they're really good. C is for Cibo Matto - I had dinner with them, and Sean Lennon, the night before I turned 16. Sean Lennon is the coolest man ever, and I love the Cibo AMtto too! Shit, Rezo's here. I gotta go, ciao! 00:07 - 10 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A day ib the lkife of Lex God damn! I'm here and I'm drunk. I may still be the world's worst girlfriend at heart, but by sheer luck I may still salvage my reputation. I just called Colin's house and apparently Ken (whose party I was supposed to go to) won;t be home til 2a.m., so they're probably not going. Which means I'm not going, which means I get to see my baby tonight. Yayy. Fuck, the drunkeness is seeping through to my fingers. I got so used to being stoned that it doesn't affect my uh, fingers (motor system? is that what they call it?), but yeah. WINE LOVES MY FINGERS! I'm so nuts when I'm drunk, but I love it. So, you know how I said @Home is changing my email address? Guess what that means? You're right kiddies: NO SAM EVER AGAIN. Why, you ask? Well, I don't have his email address anymore, being that I got a new computer and he had just switched to a University address I had not yet had the time to memorize, but on top of that, if he doesn't email me by the 22nd (highly unlikely) then he'll have no way to get ahold of me, and I him. It's sad really, very very sad, because Sam is the most perfect person in the world for me. I don't mean sexually or anything: our wit matches each other. We flow, as you will. He is indeed the brain smart enough to fuck my own, to quote some old school Cucumber. Of course I'm very depressed about that whole business, Sam is my ..my buddy, really. He's there for me, and I always feel like I can go to him when I need someone. He knows how to talk to me, superior but not too condescending, sexual but not too flirty, all that jazz. I love Sam, and I don't care who knows it! So the idea of never hearing from him again (again) is too much to bear. That's not fair; that shouldn't be the price of a new computer. *sigh* I'll just listen to Morrissey.. ,,mm, "Late Night, Maudlin Streeet." Did you know Viva Hate is the best solo album ever? 'Cause it is. Women only like me for my mind. It's true, you know. Morrissey wrote that, about girls, but I've decided to interpret it into my life in the form of men. Men think I'm smart and funny all the time, but none find me sexy. :( Except for a select few. I wanna be sexy, god dammit. What the hell? Are men really that shallow that me being a fat tub o'lard is a bad thing? Pfft. I should go back to bulimia, it was kinda fun and pretty easy. Eat, throw up. Eat, throw up. Much better than all that runnign crap. Ughh.. hmmmm. It's 11 now. Rezo isn't gonna call for another half hour; he's going to pick up some weed first I think. He better save money for my birthday!! He's taking me out to dinner and buying me flowers. Well, that's what I told him to do. :D I asked for flowers for my birthday. Just flowers. No one's ever given them to me... I also want a webcam. but you know, no one will buy that for me. No one has money except maybe my Dad, who's been spending money on me like it's going out of style, but I couldn't possibly ask for another thing for at least 3 years and not feel guilty. He's been so generous. I feel really bad for not having a job. I want want want to buy peopl epresents, oh God do I ever. At the very least I want to give something to Kate (wedding present!) and Dude and Rezo, not to mention my Mom, Dad, Step Mom (Patti) and my multitude of excellently cool siblings. Speaking of qwhich, I called my Mom tonight (it's her birthday!) and I talked to Elizabeth and Jack, the twins, and they are in GRADE FOUR now! By that age I already had self esteem issues, being fat and shy and all. I better hurry and establish a relationship with Elizabeth. Talking to them tonight made me realize how far apart we've grown. :( Rezo just called so I gotta go! Ciao. 22:48 - 09 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- e-Lex Design?? Alright, sorry, I'll stop posting. But look at this! Someone has gone and used my name in vain. Pfft. 21:20 - 09 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- World's Worst Girlfriend I am the worst girlfriend in the world. I made plans with Rezo to see him after work, right? What do I do? Of course I jump at the offer to go to Ken's house and party. Dude invited me, and when dude invites you must accept. Well not really but you know. It'd be good for me to get out of the damn house, at least. I'm sorry Rezo. If I were you, I'd be mad. Luckily you're you, and you probably won't be mad. We've got Wednesday, though! :D 21:02 - 09 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Britpop Thursdays Hey it looks like Thursdays (aka November 15th, when Pharie and her friends and I are going out) are Britpop friendly! I love Toronto. Any of my slightly more legal friends have any idea what's good here? Xenia said the Velvet Underground plays Suede and shit, always nice. THURSDAYS FRIDAYS 20:40 - 09 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friday night, home alone. Alright. Here I am, ready to rock you like a hurricane. Or not. It was a pretty uneventful day, except for my new sexy eyeglasses. I got a pretty cool email today from a guy who is hopefully coming to Diaryland soon. He found my site somehow, and came, and read and liked it. He likes Yoko. But then, everyone should. I was going to go get a hair cut today, but I got lazy. Now it's Friday night and I'm sober. Not for long, methinks. I'm going to head for the wine, Rezo's coming over after work tonight. Remember those dimes my Dad gave him for helping with the computer? They got stolen. :P Rezo hides his weed somewhere in the basement of his apartment, so his snoopy family won't find it. Well, someone found it apparently. And took it, and is probably enjoying it RIGHT NOW! Ugh. I don't have any weed either. I don't even have any cigarettes. Today sucks, substance abuse wise. Ah well. I had a good day, I've been up since 9 and I only went to bed at 6 something. I'm surprised I've made it this far. I even did the dishes tonight. I wish my parents would get home, the house feels so lonely.. I never want to live alone, ugh. I'd go nuts. Okay, so I put on some music to dull the quiet. I honestly can't think of anything to say. Ugh. I'm going to go check out Eye and see what clubs are going to be good on the 15th and 16th, so I can figure out where we're going clubbing for my super 19th legal bootylicious birthday extravaganza. You know. Anyone from Toronto wanna come along on the Friday night? So far I've wrangled Toothie and Suckie, they're both coming along. how about you? You're more than welcome to come, we're good people. 20:24 - 09 November 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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